Sore Loser
by passthebutter
Summary: Joshua loses a bet and Sanae makes him ask out every Reaper around. Can Joshua really get that many dates? Joshua/Everyone, hints of Joshua/Sanae, crack


Joshua hated losing. Well, to be a little more specific, he hated losing _bets_. We-ell… To be _more_ specific, he hated losing bets to Sanae Hanekoma.

So when Megumi had turned down his offer (a candlelit dinner at an expensive French restaurant), Joshua had fumed. _Damn it_, he had thought. _Damn it, Megumi. I thought you loved me more than that. You practically drool at my heels! You admire me to the point of creepiness!_ Briefly, he considered Imprinting his Conductor, but he knew that Sanae would realise what he was doing for the Producer was watching (laughing) from the back of the Dead God's Pad. So, Joshua had turned and stalked away, four curved lines of anger literally throbbing on his forehead.

A sweep of emotions passed across Megumi's face, and he settled on a carefully indifferent one. The barister chuckled and muttered, "Hates being turned down. You did the right thing though, Shades."

Megumi had smiled and held out his hand for the money. "Mm. _Pleasure_ doing _business_ with you, Sanae." The words were weighted and meaningful, a smirk dancing across the Conductor's lips. "Let's do it again sometime…" Hanekoma just handed over the money, winked, and disappeared.

Hey, it's not like the bets had to be entirely fair, right?

*

Squinting at himself in the mirror, Joshua mused over what he was about to do. The rules of the bet had been simple: _Ask Megumi out to a romantic dinner for two. If he says yes, you get to make me do whatever you wish. If he declines, I get to think of something for you to do. And it won't be pretty, pretty boy._

Joshua hadn't thought that he would lose. Megumi had dropped more hints about being gay than a male stripper had dropped his pants. Maybe Joshua had been reading him wrong… Maybe he was looking for affection in places where it couldn't be found because he wanted to feel validated… Maybe he wasn't all that great… Maybe…

Maybe he needed a drink.

Joshua concentrated his power and his hair changed from silver to brown. Guh. Why brown? Frowning, he made himself appear older, gained a few inches, put on a few pounds, got some muscles. Hair a little shorter, darker, hmm, eyes a light blue… Dark jeans, wait, no, leather - ooh, yes, nice - black shirt… Little tighter. Tighter… Yes. Black wings sprouted from his back, weirdly dainty for a Reaper. Swivelling on the spot, Joshua checked his reflection out. Eh. It would do.

Sanae had been clear in his decision: _Flirt with all the Reapers you see. Let's see how many dates you can really get, J._

*

The voices and Music of Shibuya pounded in his ears as he dawdled in the middle of Scramble Crossing. Bodies surged around him, women and men alike passing through his form. It had been a while since he had just _stood_ and let his city sink in like this. It was beautiful, really, but… not quite there yet. A few notes were off, jarring and disorderly. Hm. He'd have to fix that. But how…?

"You little bean-sprout! What are you doing?" The booming voice echoed across the Crossing, and Joshua winced. Ah. Higashizawa. A good Reaper, strong, a convincing candidate for the next Game Master. (See, Joshua wasn't ignorant. He knew all of his Reapers by name - well, at least the important ones. He knew what made them tick. He knew how they acted… He knew how best to chat them up).

Turning, Joshua looked up at the towering form of Yodai Higashizawa. He didn't speak, just calculated how best to start off. He knew he couldn't skip any Reapers - Sanae was watching him, and would punish him as such. "I seem to be staring at one beautiful slab of steak." The words slid off his tongue immediately and he mentally face palmed at the lameness of what he had just said. Higashizawa looked confused. Joshua decided to switch tacks. "Do you like fruit?"

Higashizawa nodded warily. "Fruit is delicious. Succulent, sweet, healthy. Bananas are full of potassium! Good for the heart!"

"Then you should see my cock… It's a peach."

Cheeks flushing red, Higashizawa looked scandalised and hissed, "Go back to work, you wilted little salad, before I grill you until you are very much overdone." He stomped off, and Joshua stared at his retreating back, arms folding themselves in irritation. Huh. He'd have to be a little bit smoother. It'd been a long time since he had done something like this. Unfolding his arms and bowing his head, Joshua ambled off, familiar chuckles echoing in his ears.

*

He alighted upon his next target - victim - while sloping past A-East and the concert hall. 777, or Triple Seven, a singer for a local indie band and a Reaper on top of it all. He was leaning back on a wall, eyeing a gaggle of girls with too-short-skirts and too-much-makeup saunter past. They flipped their hair and giggled and Joshua rolled his eyes.

The singer didn't even look up as Joshua approached, still staring at the (now far off) girls. "Hey Futoshi," he said, and the Composer was confused. "Where you been… Oh." His eyes bored into Josh's, who smiled back benignly. "What do you want?"

Joshua considered the question. What _did_ he want? "You."

777 looked mystified for a second before smirking. "Oh, really? What will you do to get me?"

Joshua licked his lips. "What do you want?"

The indie singer swept his eyes up and down the length of Joshua's body, said, "What have you got to offer?"

"What's with all the questions?"

"Why are you asking?"

"...Why do you care?"

He threw back his head and laughed. "I like you, Leathers. Maybe you could come back sometime when I'm not busy." (_Did that count as an offer?_ _Leathers?_) The singer's eyes had drifted over the Composer's shoulder, and Josh looked behind him to see a man he vaguely recognised ducking into the concert hall. He swiveled back to say something, but Triple Seven was gone.

*

Joshua had slipped into Ramen Don's for a bite to eat when he found his next target. Kariya – a strange Reaper, full of confidence and intelligence but always turning down offers of a higher position… He had no real ambition, Joshua thought, and that kind of pissed him off. He'd make a good Conductor.

Like always, he was with that insufferable pink-haired woman (Uzuki? Something like that) and, like always, was licking an orange lollipop with gusto; he didn't even remove it from his mouth as he pulled a bowl of steaming hot ramen towards him. Uzuki talked animatedly, waving her free hand (the other was shoveling noodles into her mouth) around in the air. Nodding, Kariya twirled his chopsticks between his fingers and looked bored, in a haughty kind of way.

Joshua eyed him pointedly over his bowl and eventually the woman (were they an item?) noticed him. Gesturing, she said something to her friend and Joshua smirked as Kariya turned around, meeting his eyes. A small smile curved its way onto the orange-haired Reaper's face; he finished his mouthful and made his way over.

Sliding into the chair opposite him, he stared at Joshua, who had finished his ramen a long time ago and was currently attempting to arrange his facial features into a sexy kind of look. Kariya chuckled and said, "Haven't seen you around here before."

Keeping his eyes locked on that delicious pink tongue and moist lips curving over orange sugar, imagining several things that tongue could do to him that would be infinitely sweeter than the lollipop, Joshua gave a delicate shrug and smiled. "I'm new."

Kariya did something that could only be described as a leer. "Need someone to… ah, show you the ropes, as it were?"

"Only if those ropes are tying your arms and legs to bedposts," Joshua retorted smoothly, leaning forwards and lifting a finger to twirl it around silver hair but finding empty space – he settled for running a hand through his carefully messy locks and eyeing the man before him in a meaningful way.

Kariya threw back his head and laughed. "Fiesty little one, aren't ya?" Joshua said nothing and he continued, "Well, sorry to say, I'm not usually the one tied up. That'd be you."

Joshua's smile grew. He considered replying with an "Oh, really now?" but decided to try a different tack, as he hadn't got a lot of time left now and needed to plunge onwards. "Well… How about you, ah, 'show me the ropes' tomorrow night? I could do with making a… friend." He never broke eye contact with Kariya as he said all this, his tone challenging, a pointed tongue flicking out to wet dry lips.

For the record, the orange-haired Reaper looked to be seriously considering Joshua's offer before replying with a blunt, "Nah, sorry. Don't really do newbies. Maybe get back to me when you can do things I've never seen before, yeah?" He stood up and the Composer copied the action, silently seething. _Oh, I could do things you've never even dreamt of…_

"Ah, well. Your loss," Joshua said, feigning indifference. Wiggling his fingers in Kariya's general direction, he turned around and walked towards the door, making sure to shake his ass a little in those tight leather trousers as he left the building.

*

It was nearing sundown, and Joshua was angry. Very angry. No one had asked him out, not even those pathetic little Wall Reapers with their stupid, _stupid_ demands and riddles. He had approached people he had never seen before, even slipped into Molco and chatted up some "Hooter" person (but all _he_ had done was shout nonsense about Tin Pin). God, he had even approached Konishi, a _woman_ - and a formidable one at that. Joshua had not stayed long.

He stopped and kicked the alley wall out of childish anger, thoroughly disgruntled. Everyone had treated him like some silly little boy – if only they knew who he really was!

While he was busy vowing to get his revenge on Sanae, a tall figure stepped out of the shadows. "You've had a zetta bad day, my unlucky little yoctogram."

Joshua paused and glared up at the man in front of him. He recognised him as Sho Minamimoto, a scarily intelligent and math-obsessed young Reaper who co-operated with no one. "What's it to you?"

"I've been watching you," Sho continued lazily, apparently not hearing Joshua at all (or maybe he just didn't care). "All day. And no one wants to go out with you. Which is a shame, because you're zetta cute." His voice was dripping with amusement, a wide smirk stretched across his face, and this just annoyed Joshua even further.

"Nice to know I have one person interested enough to stalk me, I suppose," Joshua said, smirking right back at Sho. He wouldn't let this idiot ruffle him.

"Do you want to know why no one wants to go out with you, radian?"

Joshua considered the question. "What, do you know something I don't?" He snorted, not even bothering to wait for an answer. "Go on then, I'll humour you. Why does no one want to go out with me?"

"Because Coffee Man told everyone not to." Sho's smile grew as Joshua frowned. "He's a weird hectopascal, you know."

Sanae? Had told everyone not to... And then it hit Joshua like a ton of bricks, and he wanted to laugh out loud. Oh, now _this_ was excellent! How had he not seen it before? He giggled and Sho looked confused. "Thank you," Joshua said seriously, pushing his way past the mathematician. "You've been a lot of help." He giggled again and hurried down the alleyway, disappearing on the spot when he was out of sight.

Appearing in the doorway of the Dead God's Pad, Joshua spotted a familiar form spread out on the sofa. His Producer was reading a book in which he hadn't seemed to have made much headway. "Hello, Sanae," Joshua said, his hair now reverted back to its normal wavy, silver locks, his shirt even tighter with the top two buttons undone, those leather pants clinging to his skinny legs. He smirked as Sanae sat up, tossing the book aside.

"Hi, Josh. Get many dates?" He smiled in a knowing, mocking way and Joshua shook his head.

"No, not really." He walked over, swaying his hips a little. Stopping by the sofa, he watched Sanae's eyes rake the sliver of pale chest peeking out from his shirt and said, "But I still have one more person to ask."

"Oh, yeah?" Sanae asked, blinking, then rubbing his neck and looking away. "Who's that?"

Smirk growing by the second, Joshua came and sat down on Sanae's lap, straddling his hips and hooking his arms around the older man's neck. Sanae's eyes widened and he made as if to push Joshua off him, but the Composer merely tightened his hold. "You," he said simply, and, as he leant forward to kiss Sanae, he realised that the Producer was a lot more cunning than Joshua had thought, and that maybe losing bets wasn't so bad every once in a while.


End file.
